I admire extraverts. Crowds energize them — they love the noise, attention and interaction. By contrast, large groups of people leave me feeling depleted. I love people, but when I encounter so many there is too much life on display and too many voices. It overwhelms me.
My biggest shock in ministry was discovering how much attention the minister gets. Introverts don’t seek attention. We like to work quietly behind the scenes to make things happen.
Oftentimes introverted ways are an asset in ministry. I love to sit at a hospital bedside and engage in a quiet ministry of listening and presence. I’m good at facilitating small group Bible studies — I never feel the need to dominate the group with my opinions. I value the contemplation that goes into creating sermons. (I love preaching them too, which may be an anomaly in an introverted personality.)
But sometimes the crowds and attention wear me out. For what it’s worth, extraverts have told me they have a hard time with the alonenesses in ministry, the long stretches sitting by themselves at their desks. Pastoral ministry is a vocation that doesn’t fit any one personality type.
In fourteen years of ministry as an introverted pastor, I’ve learned a few tips for coping and thriving.
1. Know your worth. God made you as you are. Celebrate that! You’re just as valuable as the high-octane extravert. Reflect on Psalm 139.14. We are all ‘fearfully and wonderfully made.’
2. Follow your strengths. I’m convinced introverts bring unique gifts to pastoral ministry. We’re excellent listeners. We’re thoughtful and reflective. Parishioners value these things. Introverts can excel at being ‘thought leaders.’ Their ideas, shared with gentleness and encouragement, can make an impact over time (although it may be the proverbial water carving a stone). So focus on the things you do well in ministry, and fret less about the rest. No one does all things well. Pair up with people whose strengths compliment yours.
3. Define yourself. People have a hard time interpreting quiet. They will assign meanings to your quietness, unless you take the initiative and define things yourself. Pick one item on the meeting agenda and speak your mind on it. The world will not collapse if you utter a contrary opinion. Remember, too, to smile and greet others by name — this will counter the aloofness people perceive in quieter personalities.
4. Seek solitude. You need this as your lungs need air. In fact, imagine you’re wearing an air tank that needs replenishing from time to time. In a busy day, with event after event, be sure to steal away for a time of silence to let your tank fill again. That Jesus needed solitude (Mk 1.35) tells me he was probably an introvert.
5. Plant yourself at the edges of things. In a large gathering of people, sit or stand at the side, if possible. Don’t plunge into the middle — nibble away at the margin. There’s plenty to see and experience there.
If you’re an introvert in a people-oriented vocation, what tips and strategies have you discovered?
I’m a business coach for introverts. My vocation is – sales.
Misconceptions continue about introvert and extrovert. One clarification to help each style or type work side by side more productively is that the difference is more correctly stated that people are either more introverted or more extroverted. Think of introvert and extrovert as verbs on a continuum. Meetings at work, brainstorming and talking around the water cooler are extroverting activities. Putting together a budget, a small team meeting and a quiet work space is more introverting. Activities like this that happen all day long, is about where and how people get energy. The workplace is also one place where when introvert meets extrovert, these preferences can clash. Knowing what each type prefers allows for greater acceptance, satisfaction and appreciation.
I’ve got at article at http://morejoyonthejob.com/introvert-meets-extrovert-in-the-workplace that reviews these four key areas:
The brainstorming perspective.
Socializing at work.
The nuisance of turf wars.
Socializing after work.
There are certainly many more characteristics of people’s styles and preferences. Since all energy – physical, mental, emotional, even spiritual – is used as people go about their daily work responsibilities, an understanding of the true meaning of introvert and extrovert as relates to the workplace can make it a place of harmony and high productivity.
Patricia Weber, Business Sales Coach for Introverts, Shy and Reluctant
Blogging at http://www.patricia-weber.com
From one introvert to another; early on I discovered a gift for teaching that eventually drifted into public speaking. But that did not make me an extrovert, so I also discovered ways to make a graceful exit, complete my circumnavigation of large social events and then sneak out, and tend to my own need for solitude. Most important, I learned the art of engaging in prayerful meditation in the midst of social chaos. Now I’m retired, so I guess I made it.
FYI, there’s a new book on Introverts in the Church coming out this fall:
http://www.ivpress.com/cgi-ivpress/book.pl/code=3702
Has several chapters on how introverts approach ministry, preaching, community, leadership, etc.
I’ll have to order this book. Thanks, Al.
Steven, ‘prayerful meditation in the midst of social chaos.’ That certainly must be an art!
My peoblem is that I am ADHD introvert. So that the solitude an introvert would normally use to refuel escapes me since I can’t sit still. I’m working on it, but still search for coping skills.
Bill, I wish you well in finding those coping skills. It’s an ongoing task. Thanks for commenting.