Formerly a youth minister, Kate Murphy is now a solo pastor in a Presbyterian congregation. Her latest experiences make her wonder about the wisdom of youth ministry programs that segregate youth from the rest of the congregation:
I’ve always met young Christians through youth programs. I’ve been hired by churches so committed to the discipleship of their young people that they’ve dedicated resources to creating specialized curriculae and activities. These churches expect regular events that are created exclusively to minister to young people.
But I wonder now if we’re ministering them right out of the church. Unlike Jonathan, the kids I’ve previously pastored never sat around a table with adults at church-wide fellowship events—they had their own program options. They’ve never worked side by side with other members to put on a neighborhood vacation Bible school—they were off on their own mission trips…
I may have been unintentionally disconnecting kids from the larger body of Christ. The young people at my current congregation—a church that many families would never join because “it doesn’t have anything for youth”—are far more likely to remain connected to the faith and become active church members as adults, because that’s what they already are and always have been.
She mentions Jonathan, a sophomore in her church, who impresses her with his faith, maturity, and ease of interaction with adults.
I’d not thought of the problem she poses, that youth programs can short-circuit youth involvement in a congregation and the world of adults, making it less likely for them to be connected to a congregation when they grow older. It must be hard for her to question youth ministry in this way.
I think youth benefit from their own groups and activities. In our congregation, caring adults organize programs for youth. But they also work hard to integrate the young people into the larger life of the congregation — ushering on Sunday morning, assisting in VBS, leading an Ash Wednesday service, and singing in the praise band. My experience as a teen in church included both — Sunday worship in church and regular youth events. Both were important to my faith development.
I’m not good at leading youth ministry. I don’t have the right personality or gifts for it. I’m better with youth one-on-one or in very small groups. I lead a Bible study for 5th grade girls each Wednesday evening. I love these girls and enjoy spending time with them. We’re always on the edge of chaos but still learn about faith and the Bible along the way.
Kate Murphy believes her small congregation, though not appealing to families looking for youth programs, will benefit its young people more than big churches with fancy youth ministries. This is a striking insight from a former youth minister — it flows against the current of conventional wisdom.
It is a striking insight. I sounds plausible to me.
Still, I think what appeals to young people about youth ministries and mission trips is the time away from their parents and the time to be with boys and girls. Especially by the teenage years, it is a kind of dating thing, a flirting thing. It is a chance for romance. I don’t think there is much interest in God or church.
There was plenty of flirting in my high school youth group, but there was also in some youth a genuine hunger for God and a desire to learn about being Christ’s disciple. I think it’s the same for adults in church… for some it’s social, and for others it’s spiritual as well as social. You see this in all ages.
Oh yes – the same for adults. I know adults, even older adults, for whom a mission trip was an amorous expedition.
Interesting piety, isn’t it.
I read once that any church, no matter how small or how few programs offered, that has adults in it who care about kids has a vital youth ministry.
For me as an adolescent, church was the safest place to find adults who could stand being with me even when I had infuriated my parents! To this day I still keep in touch with those adults, even though most have retired and relocated and are no longer affiliated with that congregation.
They made it easier for me to be a kid and for my parents to be my parents…. that whole “it takes a village” idea.
I imagine my life would look very different without their influence and encouragement. I will be forever grateful.