I led the first of four noontime studies on forgiveness today, using Adam Hamilton’s book and DVD, Forgiveness: Finding Peace Through Letting Go. I love Adam Hamilton, who is a United Methodist minister in Kansas. He explains his points clearly, and his studies make teaching easy. I set the stage and let Hamilton and the Holy Spirit go to work. The important thing for me is to get out of the way. But then people ask questions:
- If I haven’t forgiven someone who hurt me deeply, is that a sin? or
- What is grace?
The grace question stumped me. It’s like the word time: I know what it is until you ask me what it is, and then I don’t know. At Princeton I took a class on St. Thomas Aquinas from David Willis-Watkins. One day I asked what the difference is between the love of God and the grace of God in Thomistic thought; he said, “Grace is the effect of the divine love in us.” I remembered that. I talked to the woman who asked about grace after class and mentioned the father of the prodigal son as an image of grace. Grace is a gift I receive that I do not deserve, just as the younger son received an undeserved gift of being welcomed home by his loving father. The other question, on not having forgiven someone, I will have to work on more. It’s best to allow questions to linger in us until an answer presents itself. I’m inclined to believe forgiveness is a path, not a finished product, and the key thing is to stay on the path.
In the category of More Mundane Things, I bought a new pair of brown Skechers over the weekend and wore them for the first time today. I love Skechers. What a difference a comfortable pair of shoes can make in how you feel. Skechers and Adam Hamilton: two of my loves in life.
“…forgiveness is a path, not a finished product,” …yeah Chris,I think thats true..I harbor a deep seated resentment for both my parents in the wake of human wreckage leftover from being raised in a unsafe Alcoholic home,..there were 6 of us,4 girls/2 boys,and although functional,we all suffer from some form of clinical psychological/psychiatric issue(s)..I cant help but blame my parents for the carnage and suffering that they perpetuated through us..I’ve spent most of my lifetime in therapy/counseling,trying to recover and get well from the imprints and aquired behaviors of a traumatic Alcoholic home..unfortunately,some of my siblings have not faired as well as i have,and never will….im getting mad just thinking about it..the inflicted wound in me wants my father held accountable and punished.. God help us all
One benefit, I have found, in affirming Christ as Judge of the living and the dead, as Christianity does, is that this relieves me of the role and responsibility of being judge myself. Time and again I come back to this truth and let it temper my attitude to people who have hurt me. Judging is not my role. I can trust that Christ will judge with justice and mercy.
I recall someone telling me once that no one is all bad, just as no one except our Lord Jesus is all good. Reflecting on my own shortcomings, no matter how slight in comparison to the evil around us, helps me to remember that “twas grace that saved a wretch like me.” Without the redeeming love of Jesus, we would all be without hope. Let’s go share that love with somebody today. I bet we all know someone who needs to hear about unmerited favor right now.
Thank you, Monte. Peace to you.